How to handle a rude interviewer

How to handle a rude interviewerHow to handle a rude interviewerYou spent hours preparing your application materials and danced a little when you found out the employer wants to interview you. If you ace the one-on-one, youre likely a shoe-in for the job. Your nerves shake your confidence, and you try to remember your quality answers to all the questions you rehearsed in your mind.You expect a tough interview, but what happens when you add into the mix a rude interviewer thatd rather crack a whip than a smile to lighten the mood? Should you keep calm and not take the bait, or should you walk out? How do you handle a rude interviewer, and is it worth it to stay or time to leave?1. Stay calm and collectedKeep a level head. Take a moment to focus on your breathing to stay calm and collected. This is the perfect opportunity to practice mindful breathing exercises, inhaling and exhaling slowly as you remain grounded. When you next answer, use an even tone. Your tone should not be sassy, r obotic or matter-of-fact - it will represent your normal tone of voice in a neutral range.Like schoolyard bullies, the rude interviewer will likely lose interest and return to asking the interview questions in a deadpan tone. During the interview, ask yourself if this experience is a rare occurrence. If your gut says it isnt, be wary and consider if youd want to work with this person or with people like them in the long-term. At the same time, remember that this is only one person and one awkward interview.2. Dont get worked upDont let a rude interviewer push you to a mental or emotional edge where you feel like biting back. When you get worked up, the job wont work out for you.Wear your poker face over a grimacebecause body language is broadcast as clearly as dissatisfied word choices and will damage your self-respect and professional reputation. Dont say something youll regret that may get misconstrued in professional networks. Unprofessional statements, no matter how warranted, will come back to bite you.3. Stay positive and extend the benefit of the doubtFocus on your skills and stay positive. That way its easier to remain concentrated on accurately answering the questions. If the issue persists, maybe its not malice youre dealing with but distraction. It could be a deadline or pressure from someone over the interviewer. Maybe you caught your interviewer on the tail end of a minor emergency or stressful event.Extend the benefit of the doubt because, though behavior may come off hostile, its not always intended to be that way.People tend to make negative attributions, linking schwimmbad behavior or comments to a person rather than circumstances.4. Form a bridgeIs the vein throbbing on the interviewers forehead? Ask open-ended questions to form a communication bridge, such as How long have you worked with this company? Please tell me your company origin story. Smile earnestly, hinting at the superhero reference.It takes aboutfour seconds for a pause to be a wkward, but that feels longer when theres tension in the room. Use silence as a chance to steer the conversation to a positive subject. If you get the interviewer to talk about themselves, it relieves tension and makes the exchange go two ways instead of making you feel like your head is submerged in a pressure boiler.5. Exit with graceSometimes, you cant form a proper bridge. You tried to give the benefit of the doubt to the interviewer, but it failed as commentary and behavior drifted to a level that crossed a boundary for you. If the interviewer has stooped to discriminatory words or actions or outright insults, it may be time to formulate an exit plan.Thank the interviewer for their consideration and time with you, as you courteously excuse yourself from the interview. Dont comment directly on the interviewers behavior or words.When you reach your car or a stahlkammer space outside of the building, take the time to sit down and absorb the shock. Make notes on your phone or paper about your experience if you plan to file an official discrimination complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) since a short description of what grievance you suffered is required. If you submita claim, the commission will investigate it within 180 days.Proving that discrimination occurred sometimes proves difficult since the employer can claim other motivations for not hiring you. Nonetheless, writing the event down will clear your mind, and exiting with grace will save your professional reputation and guard you against more boundary-breaking. The interview remains one of the most important aspects of searching for and obtaining a job. It allows you and the employer to see each other face-to-face and ask relevant questions.When an interviewer is rude or makes you feel uncomfortable, it casts a shadow over the excitement of the experience. Handle hostile interviewers by staying calm and positive. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt and form a bridge of communication by asking the interviewer open-ended questions. If the situation becomes too much for you, take the last resort and exit gracefully.You dont have to tolerate a rude interviewer or colleague every time. Unfair commentary or inappropriate behavior takes it too far and must be met with a graceful exit. Focus on your talents and strengths and steer the conversation back to what you can do for the company, and if the interviewer cant overcome their rudeness, its not your loss - its their loss since youre the one who kept their professionalism in check.Sarah Landrum is the founder of Punched Clocks, a leading career advice blog. herbei career development advice has been featured on Forbes, Levo, The Muse, Business Insider and other top publications. She had the honor of participating in Mashables BizChats with the biggest names in the career world and was honored to have been listed as one of the top career websites and career experts to follow.This column originally appea red on Punched Clocks.

A bad boss may be the kick in the rear you need to change your life

A bad anfhrer may be the kick in the rear you need to change your lifeA bad boss may be the kick in the rear you need to change your lifeIts clear that having a bad boss can send your stress levels through the roof. But research suggests that it could also increase your happiness.A studypublished in the journal Work and Stress found that bad bosses make us so miserable that the situation makes us reach out to friends and find ways to improve our lives under some conditions, the process of dealing with emotional exhaustion can enhance happiness.But how?The researchers suggested that if your supervisor constantly stresses you out, you might feel better if you plan andfinding support from others. They point to coming up with a strategy to change your job and your life and reaching out to others about it.We posit that perceiving low supervisor support enhances the employees engagement in the development of an action plan, which, when paired with an active search for instrumental social s upport, boosts happiness, the study said.How they did it The researchersused the sustainable happiness model, and conducted multiple studies. Participantsincluded81 Portugal-based team leaders working under direct supervision 177 US-based supervised full-time workers and 242 US-based employees working full-time and under direct supervision.Emotional exhaustion and what comes afterwardAnyone whos had a bad boss knows its tiring managing office life under a troublesome leader can take up enormous resources and even lead to burnout.The researchers acknowledgedbad consequences of emotional exhaustion, citing outside research- including poorer performance, higher incivility, and depression.But theres a silver lining we are more resilient than we know.Posttraumatic Growth and how we bounce backOne group elaborated onthis ideaof our resilience, called posttraumatic growth. The Posttraumatic Growth Research Group at UNC Charlottereportedly came up with the term posttraumatic growth, but ac knowledges this concept has been around for awhile. (The author Ernest Hemingway, for instance, had the famous observation that the world breaks everyone, and afterward many are stronger at the broken places.)For instance, the studysaid thatthe literature on recovery from challenging and highly traumatic life circumstances suggests that people may be able notlage only to overcome them but also to experience positive outcomes in their aftermath, citing outside research.The Posttraumatic Growth Research Groupsaid that this idea tends to occur in five general areas, including the perception that new opportunities have emerged from the struggle, closer relationships with some specific people, and an increased sense of ones own strength.However, not everyone is resilient, and for some people, having a bad boss or a stressful or traumatic work environment can haunt their entire careerwe most definitely are not implying that traumatic events are good, and that posttraumatic growth is not u niversal, the Group said.Coping mechanismsIf youre feeling emotionally drained at the end of every work day because of your supervisor,there may be a solution if you arent quite ready to search for a new job with better management. The best piece of advice from the study is to expand your social network, and your professional one. Those human contacts can sustain you long after you find a solution.As for managers and team leaders, the best advice is to back off until an employee asks for help with a bad boss. If help comes too early, the employee may not work to improve his or her own situation, the researchers suggested it might be useful to just provide support when and if requested.Otherwise, the employee may not engage or delay the engagement in coping activitiesthat can enhance his/her happiness.

Susan M. Heathfield - The Balance

Susan M. Heathfield - The BalanceSusan M. Heathfield - The Balance